Why I’m Not Trying to “Get It All Together” Anymore

There was a time when I thought the goal of motherhood was to eventually feel caught up.

Like one day I would wake up, drink my coffee while it was still hot, look around my house, and think,

“Okay. I did it. I finally figured this out.”

The laundry would be folded.

The emails would be answered.

The baby would be on a predictable schedule.

I would feel like a capable adult instead of someone constantly treading water.

But that day never came.

Instead, what came was a baby who needed me around the clock.

A job that expected me to show up sharp and focused after maternity leave.

A marriage that deserved my emotional presence.

Two stepdaughters who were navigating their own growing pains.

And a nervous system that quietly started to fray.

I wasn’t failing.

I was overloaded.

The invisible part no one talks about

The hardest part wasn’t actually the work.

It was the remembering.

Remembering which bottle needed to be washed.

Remembering when the next meeting was.

Remembering which kid needed what.

Remembering dinner.

Remembering appointments.

Remembering what I had already forgotten.

That invisible running list inside my head never shut off.

And I realized something uncomfortable but freeing:

I didn’t need to be more disciplined.

I needed to carry less.

The shift I made

I stopped asking,

“How do I do all of this better?”

And I started asking,

“What actually matters right now?”

That changed everything.

I stopped trying to be good at everything and focused on being present for a few things.

My daughter.

My marriage.

My job.

My own mental health.

Everything else became negotiable.

Not gone.

Just lighter.

How I use AI now

This is where technology quietly became one of my greatest supports.

Not in a flashy way.

In a deeply practical way.

I use AI like an external brain.

Somewhere to put the things I used to carry alone.

I use it to:

• Plan meals when I’m too tired to think

• Sort my priorities when everything feels loud

• Write gentle checklists

• Think through hard conversations

• Get unstuck when my mind spirals

Instead of holding all the chaos inside my head, I get to set it down somewhere safe.

It doesn’t replace me.

It supports me.

What changed in my life

I’m not magically calm now.

I’m still a working mom.

I still get tired.

I still forget things.

But I’m not drowning in my own thoughts anymore.

I feel more grounded.

More intentional.

Less frantic.

And that’s what The Human Algorithm for Moms is about.

Not optimizing motherhood.

Not being perfect.

Just creating small systems that help you breathe again.

If you’ve found yourself here, I have a feeling you know this feeling too.

And you don’t have to carry it all by yourself anymore. 🤍